Grow Up and Act Like a Toddler

5 Ways We Should Be More Like Toddlers

By Autumn Collier, LCSW

As a parent of young children, I am shown lessons daily by my kids. Life is so simple, yet meaningful to them. We adults make life and relationships very complicated. All our years of living and loads of baggage impact our interactions and how we go about life. The purity and innocence of a child have long left us, and we are tainted by life and our own egos. We have learned to put up walls of defense and to be less vulnerable. These are protective measures we take to self-preserve and it makes total sense.

Toddlers exist in “happy go lucky” land which is filled with fun and peace. They are also bosses in this land and boss their parents around, but that’s for another day (sorry, I digress). Toddlers will naturally take necessary steps to ensure fun and peace are maintained or restored if disrupted. Even if this means sacrificing their image or being vulnerable. There are a few traits we adults should consider adopting from toddlers. Below are five ways we should be more like toddlers.

1. They Bounce Back Quickly. Toddlers will let things roll off their chest and forget about it. If a toddler is reprimanded, you may see them become upset and maybe cry at the redirection or even throw a tantrum. Just when you, the parent, start to question your decision to reprimand or feel bad about it, your toddler returns with a new attitude and is back to being “happy go lucky”. What just happened? Well, the toddler committed an act, expressed displeasure with being reprimanded, and then moved on without a lingering attitude. An adult would have easily committed an act, passively accepted the reprimand, and then have an aggressive tone for the remainder of the day or interaction with an individual. The takeaway: Express yourself in an age-appropriate manner and move on. Don’t let negative feelings linger as they just steal your joy.





2. They Apologize. When a toddler offends someone, they apologize. Toddlers don’t have the same inflated ego as adults and it definitely does not get bruised as it does with adults. They don’t go out of their way to give excuses as to why their behavior is warranted to avoid giving an apology. It is as if they understand the bigger picture, which is to make amends so that everyone can get back to “happy go lucky” land. The takeaway: Don’t let ego drive you. If you have offended someone, even if it is unintentional, apologize and move on. There is a lot of strength and power in acknowledging our faults and making attempts to amend.





3. They Ask for Help. Toddlers have no problem asking for help and delegating tasks. They will humbly ask, “can you help me get my toy” or “can you put my shoes on” without feelings of guilt. They know their limits and what they can and cannot accomplish alone. Of course, there are those toddlers who like to exert their newfound independence and try to do skilled tasks alone (i.e. walk with a cup around the kitchen without a lid or carry their plate to the table). These situations often lead to a mess. The takeaway: We can’t do it all and need to ask for help sometimes. Trying to do things all on our own may lead to a bigger mess.





4. They Don’t Hold Grudges. I’ve witnessed two toddlers push and shove over who is going to get a toy. The adult intervened and determined who would get the toy. Within minutes both kids were back playing and with a toy both could play with. The shoving match was quickly forgotten, and they moved on to engage in play. The children could have easily said they were not going to play with each other and gone out of their way to avoid each other for the rest of the day. However, they both chose to let it go and move forward. As a result, both children were able to experience fun playing together and most importantly, peace. The takeaway: It takes more energy to hold a grudge than to just let it go or resolve the situation. Holding a grudge or negative feelings towards someone steals your joy and peace. Decide to either resolve or let it go.





5. They Do One Thing at a Time. Toddlers do not multitask. They experience life one moment at a time. If they are playing, they are just playing. If they are watching their favorite show, they are just watching their favorite show. We adults tend to watch TV, cook, text with a friend, and spend “quality time” with our spouse or kids all at the same time. By doing this, nothing gets the best of us and we do not experience what we are doing to the fullest. We are essentially just checking the task off our list. The takeaway: Be present and intentional with all you do. Be present with each interaction. Multitasking is an illusion that makes us think we can really do multiple things at once. However, we can only successfully commit to one thing at a time.

The simplicity of a toddler is to be admired. It also doesn’t have to be reserved for just toddlers. We can adopt these toddler traits for our adult lives. We make things more difficult than they have to be because of our overthinking, ego, defense mechanisms, and pride. The next time you are feeling “in your feelings”, simply ask yourself, “what would a toddler do?” #WWTD

 

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